New Me

My life has changed a bit.... I graduated from college, I broke up with my boyfriend and I moved back home. I made a decision to leave my relationship because I realized that it had become unhealthy. I was being asked to change things about myself, including my weight in order to make him happy, rather than to fulfill my own personal goal. So, I have moved back home. I have applied for graduate school at WT, and I am waiting to hear back from a really great job opportunity for the next years as well. My future is bright, I have so much going for me. But it is really hard to stay focused on that when I am so overwhelmed with missing John. I know that I made the right decision for myself... but it is like I'm losing my best friend of two years. Someone who I have trusted myself to completely and I have been completely uninhibited with. I love him, but I don't think that he loves me the way he should. So I had to say goodbye. I deserve love for who I am... not who I could be, or who anyone wants me to be.

I am still focused on my weight loss goal. Although there have been some bumps in the road mostly stemming from depression, I am headed in the direction I want to go. I am not unhappy with myself now, but I want to be proud of myself. To feel and look healthy. I wonder if after I reach my goal if I can focus on real things from then on? I hope so... Weight is so minuscule in the grand scheme of things.

I have also opened my heart up to God again. I feel like this is going to be the most positive change I have made for myself this month. I am open to where ever it is I am supposed to be. And right now.... I believe that I am exactly where I should be. *sigh* my heart aches.... but I am trying my best to be strong and to do what I know I should.

Some Progress...

Soooooo I'm down to 160... which is the lowest I have been in oh, I don't know... YEARS I'm really excited about it, but I'm even more excited to see even more results. I have been really watching my carb intake... my diet has completely changed. I have the occasional slip-up... (still not as bad as anything I had been doing before) but I have mostly managed to live off of... eggs, spinache, cheese, corn tortillas, grilled chicken salads, peanuts... and fresh fruits and veggies... and other non carby things (minus the peanuts) Anyways, I'm excited.. I can see the results, and so can my friends and family. Woot. Go me!

Stepping up...

New update... I've been doing weights for upper and lower body everyday along with cardio and really watching what I eat.... However, I am still not seeing the amount of results that I want to. So, I was talking with my roommate and she said she has lost ten pound this semester by cutting out the majority of her carb intake. I have considered this and I am aware that I do have a rather large carbohydrate intake... with cereal, bread, and wheat thins and cereal bars.... All of these are whole wheat and low in calories... but I do think they are weighing me down, literally. So, starting tomorrow I am cutting out carbs. I think this will be a positive change for me and I hope to see some serious results! Wish me luck!

In gear

I've been working out everyday again. And I have written down a few reminders to keep myself on track. Only eat lean means... chicken, turkey, fish. Never ever eat anything fried. Only eat whole wheat bread and pasta products. No! cream sauces. No alcohol. Exercise everyday. Try not to snack.. chew gum instead. And in general, focus on my goal... not what I am feeling right now. I think that I let immediate gratification outweigh long term gratification influence my choices too often. I need to quit that and focus on my goal.

I've been working really really hard on class assignments. I have soooo much to do. Also, I am looking for a job, career, graduate program... something that will be a good choice for me. Currently, I have no clue what I am going to do! It's scary. Any advice on this is more than welcome. I'm lost :(

Burnt out... Plus Spring break

So, the week before spring break my work load at school seemed to multiply. I was swamped and I didn't have time to work out. Then came spring break. And I started eating really bad and again, didn't have much time to work out. So I did really bad... definitely not on a diet. So today I'm starting back up again. I went for a walk/run that was 3.2 miles. And then I had cheerios. I'm about to shower and get ready for classes... And I have homework that will keep me busy allllll day! I am having a really hard time balancing my school work.. which is causing me to be exhausted, and my willpower to eat healthy and work out. I wish I had a workout partner to keep me on track. Anyways, I applied at Gold's Gym in Amarillo a couple of days ago. I'm hoping to get a job there when I move back to Canyon in May. I did a great Body Pump workout at Westside Tennis Club in Houston over spring break and I loved it. Hopefully I get the job at Gold's Gym and I will be able to participate in their workout classes. I would love that! Otherwise, I will have to get a job that I make enough money I can pay for a gym membership! Either way I wanna do it. It's just hard to think of getting a gym membership while I'm in Austin because I will only be here for 45 more days... And I don't have money to start paying for that right now. Blah. I wish it was free! lol... yeah right! Alright, well it's time to get ready for my busy busy day. Someone... HELP ME STAY MOTIVATED :D K thanks

"Make the decision, then do something - no matter how small - toward accomplishing what you want."

I like this quote a lot... "Make the decision, then do something - no matter how small - toward accomplishing what you want." ... No matter how small. I really feel like it is kind of liberating. The small things count. You don't always have to do cardio for 2 hours. I don't have to think of what I'm eating all the time. Just consciously make small choices throughout the day to bring me further towards accomplishing what I want. Excellent. I had a completely awful day. My hormones are going wild. I got in fights with John... and we are now on a break. I have come to realize that I am sabotaging my life. I have no self confidence, and I am afraid of failure. All of these combined equals a not healthy lifestyle. I am in desperate need of a out look on life make over. It's time for me to take control of myself, of my actions, of my attitude. Honestly, I'm about to graduate from college. I am about to start being an adult. I have to start acting like it. The hardest thing for me is believing in myself. I just have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it! Wish me luck :)

I'm pretty much... Amazing :D

So today was my rest day from my diet and exercise program... However, I still managed to workout at the gym for an hour and do the 2 short videos on the National Body Challenge. Also I worked reallllly hard on my school work today and managed to finish my 15 page paper in one day! Woot. I am incredibly proud of myself today. I'm gaining confidence. That is soooo amazing. I'm excited about life, I'm excited about what I can do. I can't wait to see what happens next! I will be back on track with diet and exercise tomorrow for sure. I kinda over did the calories today, but it's ok because I have been doing so well lately. I can have a day off! Anyways. My family is coming to see me this weekend. I cannot wait! I haven't seen them since early January, and that is far too long. I've never felt more proud of myself in terms of school work. I am getting things done and making excellent progress. Also, my weight is steadily declining... For the first time ever it seems. I am actually seeing results. OMG :D I'm so excited. Hard work is definitely paying off :) Ok I'm off to sleep now good night world!

I want results!

So... I've upped my cardio time from an hour to an hour and a half... I burn about a thousand calories... + a little bit. Today I did the elliptical for 1 hour 40 minutes. I burned 1215 calories. I feel pretty good about that except that I'm really sleepy now. Also I signed up for the National Body Challenge. I put in my height and weight and I set a goal for eight weeks from today. By April 17th my goal is to weight 147 pounds. Today I weighted 162. Sooo that is a total weight loss of 15 pounds. That sounds good, I would love to lose twenty, but I will work hard and see where I am in 8 weeks. I'm still watching what I eat. It's a little bit harder because I'm burning so many calories, but I think I'm still burning more than I consume. ( I should start keeping track again but I'm feeling lazy!) Anyways, wish me luck and feel free to ask questions or give me suggestions. I could use all the support I can get!

Back on track.

Soooo I went to see John in Georgia for the weekend and somehow my diet was forgotten. Again.. it's eating out! So when he comes here I'm making dinner at my place and we aren't going to sabotage my diet again. Excellent. Anyways, I'm back on track. I went to the gym yesterday and started eating right again. So I'm excited about seeing some more results. I'm considering upping my cardio workouts to about an hour and a half. I know that I can do it. I just need to push myself in order to see the kinds of results that I want to see. Soo here I go! A friend is going to start working out with me today so I hope that goes well. I hope that by motivating him to workout it will motivate me to workout harder. :D I've been doing really well in my classes. I'm getting all of my assignments in and I feel good about my progress. My aunt and uncle are going to take me to dinner tomorrow night! EEK I'll have to pick somewhere healthy. Any suggestions?

I see John again in a few weeks. That is so exciting for me because it makes me feel like we aren't that far apart. Spring break is coming up so he will come to see me this time! Also my family is coming to see me not this weekend, but next weekend. I'm so excited about that too! I'm going to be kept busy with all of my visitors. Also... I'm graduating in May I have so much to prepare. Yikes!! But I'm excited today. I feel like I can achieve anything at all! Woot! Have an excellent day!

I'm working hard

So... I've been working out hard and working on my diet hard. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I put on my goal jeans a couple of days ago... and they fit, but I'm not ready to wear them yet. A teeny bit too tight for my comfort. I have been slacking on writing down my caloric intake, but I've been doing a pretty good job of keeping track of how much I consume in my head.

I read that for weight loss you should kinda shock your body. For instance, sprinting through out the workout... of going at a faster pace for a while... working at your maximum ability. So I did sprints, and on a different day I did stairs again... But for the past two days I've been doing the elliptical machine for an hour, but for almost every minute I go at a moderate pace for 40 seconds and then I "sprint" (go as fast as I can) for 20 seconds, and repeat. It's a much more difficult workout, I feel like it will work. I'm exhausted after haha. So yeah... cardio for an hour 6-7 times a week, and 3 times a week I will do some form of strength exercising. I'm feeling pretty good about it. Any input in my plan would be very much appreciated.

Depressed...

I dont know what is wrong, but for the past two days I have been down down down. Perhaps my hormones are getting to me. Yesterday when I got out of bed, I busted flat on my face... It was ridiculous and probably pretty funny to see. Also, when I was in my first class my eyes started flashing lights. It was really strange and I couldn't see anything. So I got scared and went to the health clinic at school and she told me that it was probably a migrane. So I took some medicine and went back to class. (which makes me think it wasn't a migrane) Anyways, if it happens again I am supposed to see a neurologist. Ick.

So I decided to eat a little more yesterday, and I took the day off from exercising because I felt that my body was trying to tell me something.

Today I woke up for class and read an email that said my class had been canceled. Soooo I didn't leave my house once. I did the Shape Magazine workout in my room. 3 Sets. That work out has made me so sore. It's insane.

I ate:
cheerios: 150
omlet: 100
cheerios:150
cheerios:150
total 550

haha Wow... I might eat something in a little bit just to have a little more nutrients, but this is all I was hungry for today. Honestly, I think I could live off of cheerios lol. I love them.

John and I fought again today. We are fighting alot because of the distance. It is getting sooooo hard. I really wish he didn't live so far away. I'm trying to think positively, but with my hormones going wacko and missing John its really hard. I have a lot of homework that I need to do this weekend. I was invited to go dancing tonight, but I didn't feel like it. It is so strange. I really don't feel like myself right now. It sucks. I want to be the Reanne that is happy and excited about things. I need to find her again... and soon! John is going out tonight with some friends. That is good for him. I wish I was with him though. I miss hanging out with that boy.

Alright, well that is pretty much the update of the past two days. Pray for me. :) Send me a happy note... Something. I need to be brought back to reality.

Still working

I'm completely exhausted. But I had a pretty good day. I went to class and then I worked out at the gym. I did three sets of the shape magazine workout. It is making my legs and arms and... everything so sore. Then I did sprints at the track. The workout suggestion is to do these things on different days, but I want to badly to see results that I am working over time.

Today I ate:

Oatmeal 160
Turkey Sandwich 205
Chicken Salad 100
Salad 350
Fruit Snacks 100
Rice cake 45
Cheerios with milk 150
total: 1110

So I did pretty good on the calories today. I was craving something sweet soooooo bad and so I had fruit snacks and I snacked on chicken salad before my workout because I was feeling weak and thought that the protein would help. Then of course after class I was starving... hence rice cake and cheerios. I honestly think that I could live off of cereal. I love it. Ha, there are a lot of things that I could live off of. But I understand that I need to have a balanced diet. I feel like I'm doing ok with that.

I guess today or yesterday a year ago is when Garret asked Ashely to marry him. It's also Eranne's birthday. I've been thinking of those two things all day long. I miss my family.

OH! I weight 163 now... So that's good. Slowly but surely. Anyways, that's all for today! Good night world.

Longggg Day

I don't know why but I have been really down lately. I felt pretty sad the entire day and I didn't really get any better until the very end when I skyped with John. I wanted us to wait until we actually saw each other to see each other again, but it just got too hard. It was so nice to "see" him. I felt like we were drifting apart a little bit. But seeing him smile at me made my heart smile.

So, in working towards my goal today I did pretty good.

I ate:

Slim fast shake 200
Tequila Lime Chicken soup from select harvest 140
Apple 60
Salad... I'm gonna guess somewhere around 450 but it had spinach, hard boiled egg, beans, cous cous, green beans, banana peppers, a little bit of Caesar dressing.... that was basically it. It was really satisfying.
Cheerios with milk 150
total: 1000 calories

I did the shape workout again today, but this time I only did 3 sets. I was feeling really light headed this morning and I was also running out of time before my class. Tomorrow I plan on doing the Shape workout before class, and after class either doing sprints at the track... or getting on the elliptical machine. I feel like I workout really hard on the elliptical and I burn a lot of calories. Anyways, it was a long icky day. I wanted to run after I got out of class, but it was FREEZING so I will just have to make up for it tomorrow.

I'm rambling. I am exhausted and I am going to "hit the sack" as my dad likes to say. (I miss my family a lot! But I get to see them at the end of February I think!! yay :) ) Alright. I will probably check my weight at the gym tomorrow, but my current goal is not a number, I'm trying to fit into a certain pair of jeans that are taunting me before I see John... 9 days :) I can't wait.

New workout... new me

So today was good. Although I woke up in an insanely awful mood I managed to get a great workout in.

food....:
Slim fast shake 200
Tequila Lime Chicken Soup from select harvest 140
apple 60
turkey sandwich 205
cornbread... only a bit lol 75
cheerios with milk 150
total: 830

The workout I did today is the "lose ten pounds this month" workout in the Shape magazine. It was pretty exciting. John keeps telling me I need to do things to challenge my body soooo there ya go. Also I have read that long cardio workouts aren't necessarily the best when it comes to losing weight. You have to do quick bursts and or challenge your body in new ways. So today I did 4 rounds of this Shape magazine exercise and I also did stair sprints with my roommate. Basically I live in an apartment complex and we jogged around it and sprinted up 3 flights of stairs on several buildings... next time I do it I will have to count how many buildings we sprint, but today I just forgot. Anyways.. My calorie intake today was fairly low and that kinda concerns me. I don't want to be unhealthy, but I feel satisfied. I'm really excited to start seeing some results for my hard work. I read on a bodybuilding.com transformation today that trying isn't enough... I have been "trying" for a long long time now and if I was really putting in a sufficient amount of effort, I really wouldn't have to still be "trying" to lose weight.

I get to see John in ten days... WOW I can hardly believe it. It feels like it has been forever and I'm soooo excited. One really cool thing about living in different cities right now is that it motivates both of us to work really hard towards our fitness goals and surprise each other when we finally do see each other. He has been working out really hard to gain weight and I have been working hard (though not hard enough) to lose weight. I have had a bad week this past week and I could be a lot farther along in my goal had I not slipped up so I will not "try" I will get on track and show myself how strong I am. I will finally stop sabotaging my results by convincing myself that it's OK to snack here and there. This is the beginning to the new me. I honestly think that I am scared to change. I think in a weird kind of way I am comfortable in my less than satisfactory body. Does anyone else feel that way? Like you want to reach your goal... but it scares you too? HA maybe I'm crazy!! Oh well I will move past this weird hang up I have and put my effort into becoming the person I have always wanted to be. ... GO ME!!

What is this about?

I am struggling to lose weight. Like almost everyone else in the United States. I have been reading up on how and finding inspirational stories and pictures and I just want to document my progress. This will also discuss my day... as the URL suggests. :)

I am 5'8" and I currently weigh about 164, which is nearly forty pounds lighter than my highest weight in high school. Insane! I am not happy with the way I look. I want to be proud of myself when I look in the mirror. I want to look lean and healthy. Not chunky... haha So, to keep myself accountable I will start tracking my food intake and my workouts from... yesterday until I reach my goal. I would like to eventually weigh around 135... I am not overly concerned with the numbers, I will judge my happiness with my results by the way I look, this is just a place to start!

Yesterday 1/30
I consumed :
slim fast shake 200
handful of cheerios 50
select harvest chicken noodle soup 90
turkey sandwich 205
apple 60
bowl of cheerios with milk 150
dry cheerios 100
1/3 sandwich 75
= grand total 930!...

exercise...
1 hour on the elliptical ~ 800 calories.
12 minute abdominal video with Kathy Ireland :)
30 minute lower body strengthening video.

today:
slim fast shake 200
chicken noodle soup 90
apple 60
lemon rosemary chicken 590
and... BREAD (oops!!) with out the bread grand total 941... I'm guessing with the bread it was about 1391!

exercise...
1 hour on the elliptical ~820 calories
12 minute abs

So... Obviously I ate allot more today than I did yesterday and the culprit is always eating out. Also, I'm practically obsessed with chips and queso and I need to cut that out entirely until I reach my goal. I am having a really hard time with the eating out thing because for one... I love it! and for two, its a way to socialize with friends. When a friends says "hey, wanna go do something?" Sure, what do you want to do? "have you eaten yet?"
... Let's go out to eat, let's go see a movie ( and often consume horrible foods there) let's go out for a drink (insane amounts of empty calories) or do you want to go to a party... (again consuming calories with drinking and then drunk munchies) do you want to go dancing? (I can't really dance without a few drinks) soooo there's a problem. I would like so feed back... should I just say no thanks to the people that ask me to go do something? Should I go and punish myself? Or is there some type of alternative that I don't know about! Please Please Please feel free to respond to that, it isn't a rhetorical question.

In future posts I will discuss my lovely boyfriend John and my family, but I feel that this is getting a bit long... So I will save that for later.

Please tell me if you have any input on my workouts... what has worked for you... anything really! Thanks for reading :)